It’s that time of year again, and if you’re anything like me, you severely overdid it last week. Overate at the dinner table, overworked yourself on preparing the house and the food, and overspent your time with your family. The good news is, you’re not alone!
Everyone feels that way right about now. And everything is going to be okay. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t push yourself past your limits around Thanksgiving, but I also know you’re probably feeling pretty guilty right about now too– telling yourself you should’ve done more, you should’ve spent more time, and you shouldn’t be daydreaming about running your family members over with your car.
I’m here to tell you not to “should on yourself.” It’s a word only used to inflict pain, especially on ourselves. Instead I have a practice I want you to try. Gratitude. I know you probably just shuddered at the word but I’m begging you to hang with me on this. A lot of scientific research has been done that shows that if we spend a little bit of time being mindful of the things we are grateful for, it will decrease feelings of anxiety, guilt, and depression, while still increasing feelings of joy and happiness.
So here is what I want you to do, take five minutes sometime today when you are alone and list off a few things you’re grateful for. I always start with the easy ones, my wife, my family, my health, and my dogs. Then I move onto my immediate surroundings. The weather, my house, food on the table, and the car in the driveway. Then I name off a few small things like the grass and clover sprouting in my orchard. Or how good my coffee was that morning. Be generic but also try to be specific.
Set a goal of naming 5 or so, but stop there. Don’t guilt yourself into naming off all 500 things you “should” be grateful for. Hit the highlights and then go on about your day. For me, sometimes, gratitude can feel like such a big task that I avoid it because I have so much I “should” be grateful for.
If you think of a few more throughout your day, maybe jot them down on a sticky note so you include them the next time you take another 5-minute gratitude break. The goal is to be intentionally grateful. I know this may sound like one more thing to check off your to-do list, but I promise if you take the time, you will feel immediate results. Be selfish with your thankfulness this holiday season.
Jase Thornton is a local farmer with a masters in marriage and family therapy and professional counseling.
Try gratitude instead
